


Off the Air

by greymatter



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anima and Animus, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, F/M, I have no idea what I'm doing :), Lots of Carl Jung influence, M/M, OOC Itachi, Protective Tsunade, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, Protective Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke and Naruto love Itachi and want him happy, Self-Indulgent, Slow updates I'm sorry, Tsunade is Hokage, Uchiha Itachi Lives, Ugh this is so angsty, Unresolved Emotional Tension, You've probably heard this one before, i am who i am, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:07:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greymatter/pseuds/greymatter
Summary: Itachi doesn't know how to forgive himself.Sage is trying to get through it.Tsunade & Sasuke are over it.Naruto is bored.I do not own any of the characters stated in this work of fiction, besides our OC, Sage.
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi/Original Female Character(s), Uchiha Itachi/Reader, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 9
Kudos: 20





	1. Hiding in Plain Sight

**Thursday, May 21, 2:14 PM •** Lady Tsunade’s House

_Soft and tender kisses placed intentionally on the edge of her brow. Now that she was placed in limbo between awake and asleep, she leaned further into the touch. Soft and tender; the way she remembers it. She craves this delicate moment like it’s a thin sheet of glass._

_The calloused fingers of his left hand ran through thin locks of her hair and she felt a shift in the way the person beside her as he expertly maneuvered himself on their shared bed. He was sitting up now, continuing his mindless game of twirl-the-hair while staring outside of the window._ We are all trapped in a sense of victimization in one form or another _was the repeating thought that couldn’t escape the trenches of his mind. He can’t seem to shake those thoughts but no one has to know. His duty is to protect his village no matter the cost, and he holds this conviction near. He can’t trust this information with anyone._

As she begins to process this newfound information, Sage can feel her breath slowly crawling up the airways in her chest and get caught in the base of her throat. It’s been years, she _knows_ this already, and she should hate him. Her friends bring it up so casually, talk about it so passively and _it’s the hottest gossip in town right now._ It is _so easy_ for them and _so painful_ for her.

**Itachi**

“Why don’t you show off those luscious locks of yours?” _was the question that went unanswered every time he wore his hair in that goddamn low ponytail. It wasn’t even that he couldn’t pull it off, it was that his hair was a gorgeous shade of black and he didn’t like the attention it brought. She gave him so much shit for pulling it back all the time. Gentle touches to his scalp caused him to shiver; she can remember the electric current that burned her fingertips every time she did it._

_It was the way it shined under the sunlight at midday and moonlight at dusk. There was always a glimmer of Light that could be seen by Sage a quarter-mile away. It was a stark contrast from the untameable brown mane that laid on top of her head. It contrasted his pale and milky skin gloriously and during the summer months, his skin would color ever so slightly into a faint gold. Under that golden hue was a heart that was created from the richest and most precious carat of gold. He was golden; he was her light._

_Soft and tender._

**Is**

_He never failed to remind her that sage was his favorite herb. Every time he returned from a mission, especially a particularly dangerous one, she would muddle sage and lemon into the base of a teacup and pour warm sake over it._

Sage can practically feel the gentle pressure of his lips pressing against her forehead. They were still warm from the sake he had just finished. But didn’t this just happen yesterday? These memories are still so vivid…

 _There was a change of mood as The Incident approached closer. Sage could tell he was pulling himself away, yet failed to communicate her observations. Could this have been their saving grace ─ if she had just said something? Anything? He began staying with his parents more often, piping that he just “needed space”, but would then find herself waking up with him the following morning. There was no space when they were together, their space was_ **_each other_**. _Training would fall into late hours of the day. There was no warm sake and forehead kisses after missions anymore._

**Home**

_It just comes. They’ve been arguing for the last two hours. She doesn’t remember how it began. These repressed emotions began manifesting themselves in subconscious ways and it was passed out of her control at this point, is what she concludes. It’s like the world exploded into trillions of tiny shards that everyone can find in various spots of the galaxy._

“Fuck you. I don’t care anymore.” _There was a metallic taste in her mouth. She can’t remember feeling so helpless._ “I don’t want you to come back. Just leave, you were going to anyway.”

_Sage hated him then; her brain couldn’t compute or comprehend why he was pushing her out. She craved his touch and he was unwilling. She remembers being taught that there is a fine line separating love and hate from each other._

_Her vision was stained with red and black. Red lightning and black cumulus clouds hanging above the roof outside. The world feels like it’s exploding in that warm light, black against red, red and black, the images were beginning to blur together. She knew what was happening; dissociation. There was no connection between her physical and mental beings. They were two estranged versions that no longer served each other._ Fuck you. I don’t give a shit anymore. Fuck off. Don’t come back. Don’t you ever come back. _She heard the door slam shut, the same sound that woke her from every nightmare._

“Sage.” And then she’s shoved back into reality, just like that. All it took was the snap of Tsunade’s fingers. Sage then offers a weak smile knowing that she is completely giving herself away. Feelings, don’t fail her now.

“I’m okay. It’s okay.” It isn’t okay and Tsunade isn’t stupid. Both Sage and Tsunade know it isn’t okay, and Sage was grateful that there was no further investigation.

• •

 **Monday, June 22, 6:17 AM** • Itachi & Sasuke’s House

People _know._

The pressure has lightened only barely since Itachi finally came home a month ago. Itachi knew that re-establishing himself in Konohagakure wouldn’t be _easy_ , but he also didn’t anticipate it being as difficult as it was. What the books fail to communicate to us is that the world isn’t as forgiving as you’d like to believe it was. Humans aren’t naturally trusting creatures ─ more often than not, we reject Truth. Coming from preconceived judgment has ostracized and created division amongst entire races of human beings, and he truly was no exception.

But this is the life Itachi created for himself. The complexities behind his actions caused very polarized depictions of his nobility and honor towards the Uchiha clan. What does it say about them ─ the Uchiha’s? The fact they’re willing to destroy their own family for the sake of their village, would it mean they would be quick to turn against the village if the “greater good” told them to do so? _Blood is thicker than water_ is what he was told. What happens when the blood you have deceives the blood of your community? What is honor if it isn’t upheld by the greater good? Why was Itachi put in the crossfire between duty and conviction?

The amount of gratitude he has for the patience and kindness he has received from both Sasuke and Naruto has been his saving grace. Although most have truly come around since a month prior, there are a select few who refuse to even maintain eye contact for longer than a second. Loneliness before was self-inflicted, a consequence he imposed himself upon for the means of protecting not only his entire World: Sasuke and Konoha. However, this loneliness came from people rejecting the mere _thought_ of you, which wasn’t something he had any familiarity with, much less control over.

Is this what it feels like to be the last man on Earth? Itachi huffs out a dry laugh at the dramatic thought and looks up from yesterday’s newspaper that he had been trying to read for the last hour and a half. There are orange and pink hues creeping at the horizon, indicating sunrise. The rest of the sky is a midnight black, the color of the deep sea. Most might view this sight as comforting ─ a reminder that even in your darkest days, there can still be light, but this isn’t _that._ He has seen many sunrises before, the kind that energize you and prepare you for whatever may come. This felt suffocating, and suddenly everything began to close in around him.

Inch by inch. Suffocating.

But it isn’t, because it _can’t_ be that. Nothing is closing in on him. It’s just him.

It is him and the stretch of pink and orange light begins to expand outward from his seat. He can’t tell how much time it’s been since this heavy panic set in. Everything looks so surreal as he begins to take note of what he recognizes around him.

He sees a tea kettle on the gas stove.

His hands are tightly clutching his mug, the ceramic cracks beneath his tight grip.

Lemongrass overwhelms his nostrils as the steam from his mug billows on his face. He doesn’t remember filling it back up with hot water.

As he brings it to his lips, he can taste the warming and instantly calming tea that ceases the shivers darting down his spine.

There is a radio at the other end of the dining room that quietly plays, and he only caught fragments of the voices that filled up the space like white noise.

He wasn’t paying attention until he was.

“If today began the last week of your life, what would you do?”

“Ryu, are you high? What the hell are you going on about now?”

“Seriously, Ino! What would you do? Is there anything you would have done differently? Any _regrets?_ ”

The question sounds like an insinuation, Itachi doesn’t know how he found himself listening to such garbage anyway. But the questions are enough to send him spiraling again. It’s too much for one morning as he pinches the bridge of his nose in a concentrated manner.

“Ugh, you perverted little shi-” was the last he heard before the radio abruptly turned off.

“Itachi.” It’s Sasuke. “When are you going to forgive yourself?”

“Sasuke,” Itachi greets with the warmest of smiles, “Would you like a cup of matcha? I was able to find some at the market yesterday.”

Itachi is deflecting, Sasuke already knew this. This routine had become almost daily. Sasuke would wake up to find Itachi already having started his day; likely ruminating over the damage he caused either at the dining room table or on their deck.

Sasuke nods his ‘thank you’ once Itachi sets the warm mug in front of him, taking a seat across from the other man shortly thereafter. Itachi prepares for the lecture he is about to receive regarding the importance of forgiveness and self-care, but it never comes. The first part of their daily routines had been broken for the first time in over a month, but neither of them moved. Itachi can sense Sasuke thinking long and hard about _something,_ but he doesn’t know what. It is both the loudest and most quiet minute and a half either of them had ever sat through, and then ─

“You should go see her.”

“She hates me.” Itachi counters, stepping to his own defenses quickly because he already knows who “She” is; it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. He has made amends with almost everyone affected by the trauma he instilled, except for _Her._ The sigh that soon followed after Sasuke’s mouth fell quicker than the mug that just slipped from Itachi’s grip. There was a shatter only seconds later.

“She hates me, Sasuke!” That was it.

“Of course she does, Itachi. But so did Naruto until you talked to him!”

Sasuke doesn’t know whether to be elated or annoyed by where this conversation is headed. On one hand, this feels like progress. Getting Itachi to open up was nearly impossible at times and this was the driving factor to rising these inner shadows to the surface. The other hand doesn’t understand why he _hasn’t_ tried reaching out yet. Itachi sought out approval and forgiveness even before he decided to move back to Konoha.

Itachi’s patience had begun to wear very thinly. Between the two of them, Itachi was the one who maintained composure. He knew he reacted too quickly this time.

“God, you two are annoying.” Sasuke recognized that voice almost immediately, the voice of a certain blonde that he’d grown rather fond over in the last few months. “You know things are messed up when Sasuke starts to make sense during an argument.”

Things were starting to feel very out of character for Itachi now as embarrassment spread across his face. The once impassive facial features Itachi wore were now contorted in a way that screamed Defeat. The two Uchiha men stared at Naruto, who was leaning casually against the doorframe.

“How long have you been here?” Sasuke asked, speaking what the both of them were thinking aloud.

“Long enough to get bored,” Naruto said, yawning shortly after his statement and stretching his arms above his head. Sasuke briefly wonders if Naruto was a cat in his past life. “Besides, we have training to do, Sasuke. _You_ told _me_ to be here at dawn.”

Sasuke remembers that now and reluctantly stands up from his seat before offering a glance at Itachi, who was desperately trying to remain invisible.

“Do something about this.” Sasuke motions his hand at Itachi, gesturing to the mess he made of _himself_ and not the broken ceramic with spilled tea on the floor beside him.

• •

 **Tuesday, June 30, 7:17 PM** **•** Southern Training Fields

“When are you gonna get over yourself?” Tsunade asked after heaving a deep breath. Sage was finally exhausting herself, and Tsunade found herself on the receiving end more frequently day in and out. “Don’t you have any other friends to take your rage out on?”

Tsunade very ─ _very_ ─ reluctantly agreed to help Sage with her training. It most likely had something to do with the fact that no one could keep up with her. Sage was even able to give Jiraiya a run for his money, and that spoke louder volumes than Naruto’s laugh. 

“Tsunade,” Sage spoke curtly, “I am not taking my rage out on you. I need to train as hard as I possibly can.”

Did Tsunade mention that her friend was also incredibly stubborn? She didn’t have time to laugh at Sage’s ‘joke’ before she dodged another attack at the very last minute. Sage was relentless, and the only way to get her to stop was by draining her chakra completely.

The only thing keeping them from continuing their training was the sun setting. It was foggy tonight, the clouds creeping around their figures in the lightest of hugs. The two women looked at each other thoughtfully, a silent close to their friendly battle. After a few comfortably silent minutes, the two women came together in a tight embrace. They hugged frequently, with Sage as affectionate as she is, but this time felt different. Sage was offering a vulnerable piece of herself to Tsunade, a sight rarely seen, and the tall blonde accepted it wholly.

“I can’t imagine how difficult His return has been for you,” Tsunade encouraged quietly, resting her cheek at the top of Sage’s head while gently rubbing her back, “Would you like to talk about it over some sake?” Sage’s only response was a sniffle before she pulled back and offered a sad smile.

Even under the low moonlight, Sage looked ethereal, Tsunade thinks. Her dark brown hair hung in loose curls within the confinements of her ponytail, loose strands framing her face effortlessly. Sage had a strong and thin jawline with cheekbones that could cut through steel. Her skin was olive-toned that contrasted greatly against her own, freckles plotted like specks of glitter across her face.

• •

“Two glasses of warm sake and two bowls of pork ramen, please,” ordered the older Kunoichi, her voice strong and proud. Sage wonders where Tsunade gets her confidence from; it seems like all of hers is feigned and disingenuous.

It isn’t long before the food and beverages reach their table and Sage realizes she hasn’t said a word since they arrived, but she’s more than thankful that she wasn’t put through the exhaustion alone. Tsunade offered comfort simply by being present; the stability that mother’s provide but the vulnerability that friend’s provide. Sage always felt the need to put on a brave face and work through her problems with no complaint, but she didn’t have to put those barriers up around Tsunade. The two women accepted each other in every state without expectation, providing space and creating homes within.

“He feels so far away,” was the first thing Sage could think of to say, “but, _really_ , he’s closer than he’s ever been.”

• •

 **Wednesday, July 1, 12:13 AM** • Shushu-ya

Sage knew to quit when she went to the bathroom. She stumbled only once on her way there, quickly catching herself. Maybe it was the flickering light above her head as she caught an unexpected glimpse of her own reflection in the mirror, but she looked wrecked. Her once high ponytail was loose and hung low from her head, long strands of mahogany fallen loose from the band confining her wild curls. The long hours spent training and lack of sleep had begun to show through the bags under her eyes.

Exhausted was an understatement.

Sage knew to quit when she looked down at the sink. White and lifeless. Her tanned skin was a stark contrast from the porcelain that was cold beneath her fingers. She gripped the precious ceramic tightly and only stopped when her knuckles resembled that porcelain so well. The effects of the sake took quite the toll on her physical energy, impairing her ability to think clearly. Images of loving memories flew through her mind like a silent film.

Images of Itachi’s smile that shined so vibrantly. Sage can remember the distinct sound of his laughter so clearly. It was loud and encouraging when she told a bad joke, subtle and sweet when they danced together in his kitchen, contemptuous and degrading when he was angry.

Sage knew to quit when she was reminded of The Incident. She remembered her labored breaths as she ran across the village to the Uchiha Compound, hearing rumors of trouble being stirred at the Southern end of Konoha. The weight of Sasuke’s body in her arms as his body jerked with sobs; staining her favorite shirt with tears and screams. That shirt now sits in the back of her closet, untouched since that very moment.

 _I’m sorry, Sasuke,_ Sage whispered into his hair, her own tears soaking into the black strands that textured very similarly to his brothers, _I’m so sorry._

How badly she wanted to hush him, tell him it’s okay, that everything will be okay. Sasuke held on for life that night. When she found him that evening, he was laying between the lifeless bodies between the people he once considered parents. Home; they were his home. Sage picked him up from where he was sitting, covered in sweat and blood and they sat like that until Sasuke fell asleep on her lap. She doesn’t recall sleeping for a day (or two) after The Incident, doing her best to accommodate Sasuke’s vulnerable state.

“Are you okay?” Tsunade interrupts, quite _rudely_ , thankyouverymuch. Can’t she see that Sage is sulking in here? How _inconsiderate_ of her friend to check in when she’s been stuck in there for the last 15 minutes.

“No. I have to go see him.”

• •

_“What’s going on?” Sage asked the busy and frantic villagers. Everyone ignored her; they were too busy bustling around and moving the outside vendors indoors. It couldn’t have been past 8 right now, much too early for local shopkeepers to be closing._

_There were screams as she shoved her way through her neighbors, nearing further and further south. There was adrenaline coursing through her veins and she could feel chakra spilling from her fingertips. Every part of her body was shaking as she neared the Uchiha Compound; eerily quiet. The quiet enveloped her wholly as she entered the quarters reluctantly. She was only 10 feet in when she saw a still pool of blood with an older woman lying on top of it. She swears the only sound she heard was her heart falling to the ground._

_The woman laid still on the ground, eyes open just barely and jaw hung loose. Sage had never seen anything like this before._

_“Oh no.” Sage croaked out quietly, unable to begin processing everything she is witnessing right now. Before she knew it, she dropped to her knees beside the woman she’d only ever seen in passing. A sob crawled its way up her throat nonconsensually, the rise of bile following closely behind it. Tears began flowing out like waterfalls, her body wrecking itself in heavy sobs and loud cries. She laid on the ground beside the woman for what felt like hours before closing the lifeless’ woman’s eyes._

_Sage stood quietly, wiping off her face with her now dirty sleeves and continuing her path down the usually busy and bustling street before seeing a tall figure standing. It took her a few minutes to recognize the still standing body was alive, even longer to realize it was the culprit of all of this madness._

_Itachi._

_Sage ran towards her lover, desperate for answers… for any clue that this was a freak accident done by an outsider. She threw her arms around him tightly, losing herself completely in his arms and finding the energy for another emotional meltdown._

_“What’s going on, Itachi? Why is this happening? Who would do such a --” Sage demanded, practically screaming her words through tears and whimpers into his chest. She felt comfort from the way Itachi’s arms felt around her waist, cradling her close._

_“I did.” He interrupted quietly, almost inaudibly. Sage ripped her face from the crook of his neck and stared at him in disbelief._

_“What?” Sage whispered, eyebrows furrowed together as she began processing what he’d said, “No. This is a joke. This is a sick fucking joke.”_

_A few moments passed. This wasn’t starting to feel like a joke anymore. He refused to meet her harsh, judgmental gaze and that’s when she tried yanking her body away from his. Itachi’s grip only tightened._

_“I hope one day you will understand and forgive me.”_

_Itachi finally met her eyes. There was trauma and fear etched into his aged features. He looked down at the woman he loved so much, pressing his forehead against hers. Sage was unable to move; this was the closest they had been in months. She wanted nothing more at the moment, the feeling of security. She longed for security in the man who’d just slaughtered his entire clan._

_“No.”_

_Itachi nods at her response. He understands. He can’t and won’t expect Sasuke and Sage to ever forgive him for his atrocities, but he can only hope. Itachi pulled his face back to press his lips against her forehead. He would hold on for just a few more moments to savor this._

_“I will always love you, little ginger. Please take care of Sasuke.”_

_Sage stood breathless after he’d disappeared. Her eyes fixated on the ground beneath her sandal-clad feet. There were still imprints of where Itachi stood, his once warm frame protectively covering her own now gone._

_Little ginger. It was a nickname he had given her when Mikoto invited her to make kimchi. They were dicing root vegetables for the fermented snack and Sage scrubbed her hands for hours to relieve them from the smell of ginger and garlic. She remembers the way Itachi made fun of the smell. She can hear the bubbles of laughter coming from Mikoto, Fugaku, and Itachi as they laughed about the experience._

_Mikoto and Fugaku, are they still at home? Sage was quick to recollect herself at the prospect. It was like her third wave, determinedly running towards the direction of the house she knew so well._

_And there they were. She stood outside of the sliding doors, the moon hanging high above her head and reflecting very little inside of the house. Everything was quiet. By this time, she had only seen dead bodies. They laid on the side of the road. Where were the police? Why hadn’t anyone shown up yet?_

_Alone she was. She stood quietly outside of the home for one more heartbeat before finding the courage to step inside. There was blood, so much blood._

_“Oh my god,” Sage whispered. Her bandaged hand came up to cover her mouth as she witnessed the sight before her. There they were. Their stab wounds are prominent and visible as ever. Sasuke was shaking between their defunct bodies, sobs ripping from his throat as he begged and pleaded for his parents to wake up._

_“Sasuke.” Sage says quietly, the hand covering her mouth coming to her forehead in disbelief at the sight displayed before her. This had to be a dream. Itachi mastered the art of genjutsu. None of this was real. It had to be a bad trip. A twilight zone mirage that she couldn’t release herself from._

_The next thing she remembers is sitting herself between Fugaku and Mikoto, her arms wrapped tightly around Sasuke’s small frame. They mourned together that night as Itachi’s words replayed over and over in her head._

_‘Please take care of Sasuke.’_

_She will take care of him._

• •

“Sage, you absolutely can _not_ see him in this state. And that is an _order_ from your Hokage.” Tsunade stated firmly. It was loud and clear to Sage, and she’s sure that others can hear outside of the bathroom because it suddenly became very quiet.

Sage’s impulse led her to run out of the bathroom and across Shushu-ya, out of the door and into the dark night. Her footsteps led her in the exact _opposite_ direction of where she lived.

“Sage! Don’t do this!” Tsunade yelled from the entrance to the bar, slapping a hand across her forehead as she watched her friends tall and thin frame become smaller and smaller as she continued running. “Fucking hell, Sage. I can’t take you anywhere.”


	2. Here in Spirit

**Wednesday, July 1, 12:15 AM** • ****Uchiha Compound

Naruto paced aimlessly back and forth in the living room. He was starting to get impatient and creative, and Sasuke wasn’t having it. They — but mostly Naruto — talked about locking the two of them in a room together.

It started off innocently enough; jotting down different ideas on a way to reconnect both Sage and Itachi. Set them up on a blind date with each other. Or better yet, have Tsunade set them up on a _blind mission_ together — what better of a way to reignite lost love over the thought of dying beside them? It’s an option Naruto likes to come back to. Maybe they could “accidentally” bump into each other at the market. What about kidnapping them and locking them in a room together? It wouldn’t be _easy_ , of course, but it could be _fun_.

“So what do you suggest then, genius?” Naruto challenged Sasuke as soon as he rejected his _brilliant_ idea. The expression he had was childish at best; arms crossed over his chest and mouth contorted into one of a pout and eyebrows knitted together closely. Any other time, Sasuke believes his heart would have popped out of his chest at the mere sight.

“Naruto, you’re talking about kidnapping _shinobi_ ; very powerful shinobi, at that. Do you have any idea how ridiculous you’re being right now?” Sasuke replied obviously, sighing incredulously and wiping a hand over his face. “Besides, Itachi can probably hear us talking about it. So just drop it for now, yeah?”

“It’s almost as if Naruto isn’t the most subtle of people.” Itachi interjects from the other side of the room. When did he get here?

“Oh. Hey, Itachi. Didn’t see you there,” Naruto greets with a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his neck with slight embarrassment. Itachi’s only response is a collected sigh as he begins rummaging through the kitchen. He settles on bell peppers and tomatoes with hot sauce.

There is a painfully awkward silence shared between each of them for a solid ten minutes as Itachi chops up his vegetables and scoops them onto the plate, careful to keep from dulling the blade of his knife.

“Thank you, I guess?” Itachi questions with a grimace, having pondered the thought the whole time and growing increasingly frustrated with his inability to formulate proper gratitude. He has yet to truly acknowledge the repressed emotions that have been building up. Where does it begin and where does it end? Clearly, he understands the cause and effect. You cut your hand, it bleeds. You say ‘thank you’, people respond with ‘you’re welcome’. You kill your clan, you’re considered an s-rank ninja and your little brother tries to kill you because of it. It's a very basic philosophy, really.

“For what?” Itachi can recognize Sasuke’s voice from behind him.

“Considering me.” Itachi settles himself at their shared dining room table, prodding a fork into his diced tomato and eating it whole.

Sasuke had never thought of it like _that_ before. It felt natural to want to see his elder brother thrive and feel loved. He looks over at Naruto, wondering _how_ and _why_ they got as lucky as they did. It truly is a wonder how Naruto can still view Sasuke as a lovable creature, even after everything he’d put his partner through. They were always able to find a way back home to each other; now if that wasn’t pure _love_ if he ever knew what it meant.

“Are you still in love with her?” Sasuke asks aloud, no malice intent behind the question before he continues to pursue his next course of action.

“What?”

“It’s — it’s just a question, Itachi. Are you still in love with her?”

Itachi senses that this is a trick question, and so he blinks. His eyebrows knit together and fists slightly clench. Naruto visibly cringes in the corner of the room.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Sasuke sighs, hand rising to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose tightly, “There’s no right or wrong answer. Now will you answer the question?”

Sasuke is persisting, Itachi suddenly feels a heavy weight in his stomach at the thought. There is no way of getting out of his — and Naruto’s — curious gaze.

“Alright then,” Itachi challenges, “then no. I am not in love with her.”

“Uh, really?” Naruto interjects flatly. Both he and Sasuke are staring right through Itachi.

“Really.” Itachi is incredibly hesitant with his response because the words should feel true. In reality, he isn’t sure. The thought carries in more ways than emotionally; he can physically begin feeling stressed in his upper back. He doesn’t know when he began answering to _Naruto_ — of all people — but he tries a smile at the bubbling blonde nonetheless. It’s very forced, but Naruto still appreciates the effort.

Itachi waits for a moment, making himself available for any other interrogative questions, before bowing slightly before the two men.

“Before you infatuate yourselves further with my non-existent love life, maybe consider what’s going on here,” Itachi pipes, offering a kind smile as he gestures a hand between the pair who were so _obviously_ denying their attraction towards each other. Still. “Goodnight.”

• •

**Wednesday, July 1, 1:00 AM** • Uchiha Compound

_“This is a global health crisis! When is that finally going to get through to you people?!”_

_The first time Sage and Itachi met was in front of the Hokage tower. Itachi strolled through the village from the Compound to the market as he noticed foot traffic slowing down. And while he’s not exactly the tallest person around, he can sense commotion coming from the center of the gathering. It was loud and powerful, one that demanded the attention from everyone around it. Most people who spoke loudly in the village were angry or shinobi; or, even worse, angry shinobi. Itachi only had it halfway figured out, because this person — girl — was definitely angry as he shoved his way through the crowd._

_“You all want to ignore the problem but never solve it!”_

_As Itachi creeped his way closer, he was able to make out an alarmingly familiar mop of curls resting in frizzy waves against the small frame of a girl he recognizes from the Academy. She can’t possibly be older than 12 years, but her passion is equally profound as it was terrifying. Itachi would absolutely hate to be on the receiving end of her rage. He settles near the front of the crowd, much too engrossed in the person he generally ignored any other day._

_Sage is her name, Itachi recalls — like the herb. He will occasionally smudge his bedroom or house with a bundle of it to rid the space of negative energy. Itachi generally found this practice to be very comforting, and this was far from comfortable._

_“When people begin to willingly strap paper bombs to themselves in the name of religion or politics, we only see an act of terrorism!”_

_Suicidal terrorism. Is this about the war?_

_“Why isn’t anyone talking about these_ **_humans_ ** _who are_ **_killing themselves_ ** _because their lives are so miserable that they would do anything for a release?! What kind of future are we setting up for my generation by continuing to sweep this under the rug?”_

_This_ **_is_ ** _about the war._

_The same war that brought death and pain onto thousands of people — people with careers and families. The war that divided entire nations. The war created outside terrorist organizations that further threaten the stability of Konoha. The same war that most people refuse to acknowledge anymore — and yet here she is: starting this uncomfortable conversation. The villagers surrounding Sage share looks of confusion, admiration, and determination._

_“We cannot keep ignoring this issue anymore, Lord Hokage! I_ **_know_ ** _you can hear me!”_

_Itachi can feel her anger in his bones. If he recalls correctly, Sage’s father passed away sometime after the war. She and her mother found his lifeless corpse hanging from a rope on their balcony. There is rage and hurt underlying in Sage’s tone._

_Sage is exhausted as the sun begins to set, but she doesn't leave her spot. Itachi assumes she came straight from the academy to begin her protest. While the crowd has thinned out, Itachi stayed. He doesn’t remember now why he left his house to begin with, but it couldn’t have been more important than this right now._

_“May I walk you home?” Itachi asks after a long while. The last person had since left just over a half hour ago, but he and Sage had sat in silence together for much longer than that. It was the first time he had ever directly addressed Sage before, but she didn’t seem bothered by his company. She only nodded in response._

_“It’s a far walk.” Sage’s voice sounds small — much more vulnerable than the loud and boisterous one he’d heard an hour earlier._

_“That’s alright, I have time.”_

_Sage then considers Itachi seriously. Her gaze on him is intense, expecting the absolute worst from the boy she didn’t know. Or trust._

_Sage didn’t_ **_actually_ ** _expect Itachi to walk her home — but he trekked along silently by her side until they reached a clearing in the forest where her house resided._

_“Thanks for —”_

_“I really liked what you had to say today.”_

_Sage was taken aback by Itachi’s sudden interruption, her look of surprise turning into a kinder, gentler one._

_“Nobody likes to acknowledge the impact war has on someone. That’s why… well, what you said was an uncomfortable truth.”_

_Sage didn’t know what to do with this information. She suddenly felt overwhelmed by the acknowledgement from her fellow peer. It wasn’t because it was Itachi Uchiha, even — no, it was because the entire time she spoke for what she believed in, she was berated for it. By villagers, by strangers, and even by shinobi — who were literally byproducts of the system. They were all so brainwashed and her childhood was suffering because of it. Not even her Hokage bat an eye during her speech._

_“Itachi.”_

_“Yes, Sage?”_

_“It’s up to us to fix the broken system.”_

_There is a determined look in Sage’s eye that nearly brings Itachi to tears. She is fierce and resilience embodied in its purest form._

• •

It has been 9 years since Sage stepped foot inside of the Uchiha Compound, and yet she can remember the streets and hidden alleys like the back of her hand.

9 years. At least 108 months. 469 weeks. 3,285 days. 78,840 hours. The calculations flip through Sage’s mind with ease, as if this is something she actively kept track of. She recalls the most vivid memories resurfacing from the depths of her mind; from where dead bodies laid across the ground like loose trash to where she and Itachi stood face-to-face during their last encounter. The thoughts flood her vision like a tsunami _—_ a tidal wave; uncontrollable and unforgiving.

The once full and decorative houses stood vacant, alluding a certain mystery and eeriness to the area. She hadn’t been here since that night, even _when_ Sasuke depended on her most, the pair refused to relive those same memories. What _was_ was a mindset that blew gust to the wind, only having what _is_ to focus on now.

“God.” Sage breathes as she captures her own reflection in a broken window. As she palms down her jonin vest, she can feel bruises forming on her ribcage from her sparring match with Tsunade. Fingerprints from God themself; a very jarring reminder that she was, in fact, alive. For being a top sociologist, she really did feel pathetic at that moment. This is all a distraction to keep her from moving forward, Sage calmly reminds herself. So naturally, she continues forth toward her destination with feigned determination. There is a faint glow of lights roughly 200 feet before her now; it’s the first thing she notices.

The shape of the house that belongs to Itachi and Sasuke begin to come together in a familiar and bittersweet way. While the rest of the Uchiha Compound remained untouched since The Incident, it was nice to see life in the abandoned space.

“Hey, Sage.”

There is a familiar and rugged voice that comes from behind Sage, catching her off guard. Quickly, she whips around at the sound and internally scolds herself for being an easy target.

“Naruto.”

“Don’t look so spooked; it’s just me.” Naruto’s laugh is sheepish and his grin is contagious. Sage was lucky that it was _just_ Naruto, but she couldn’t help but feel caught nonetheless.

While Naruto’s expression isn’t judgmental, it’s still knowing. There is a giddiness that fills his bones at the sight of Sage standing by, something that is becoming increasingly more and more difficult to contain as she stands there silently.

Sage offers a weak smile in response, scratching the back of her neck nervously before darting her eyes to the door she stood a few feet away from. On the inside of those walls was her destiny.

“Naruto, who was it outside?” Sasuke asks before swinging the door open, his curiosity getting the best of him since his ‘just-a-friend’ hadn’t returned indoors yet. His gaze softened upon realizing who Naruto was standing with, eyebrows raising in response.

This _is not_ how Sage envisioned her reunion with Itachi going. She feels cornered by the two unthreatening men who were now looking at her expectantly and another emotion she can’t quite put her finger on. Excitement? Anxiety?

What _had_ Sage expected by coming here _—_ butterflies or fuzzy monsters overwhelming her gut and puking up cotton candy? Would she have fainted in surprise?

“Hey, it’s me.” Sage _somehow_ manages to choke out with a curt wave, despite every fiber in her being demanding that she runs away. And _now_.

“So… did you just come over to say hi? Did you need something _—_ or rather, some _one_ ?” Sasuke asks with a little _too much_ curiosity for someone who looked so disinterested.

“Actually, yes.” Sage responds assertively, “Is Itachi awake? I know it’s a little late.”

Sage sounded more confident in what she felt, somehow managing to take back control of the situation. Sasuke and Naruto both expected more of a dance to untangle themselves of whatever was going on, and their expressions mimicked their shock; but Sage took a pair of scissors and cut the tension right down the middle. No more dancing.

“Uh, okay. I’ll go see if he’s awake.” Sasuke offers after a moment of awkward silence, clearing his throat uncomfortably and leaving the door open for the two to follow behind him.

Naruto allows Sage in first, tapping his foot to break the silence that was enveloping him wholly as Sasuke retrieved his older brother who’d already gone to bed for the evening.

_This is the absolute worst timing,_ Naruto thinks as he continues to sulk in the corner. It feels like minutes, hours before Sasuke returns with a slightly disgruntled Itachi following closely behind.

“This couldn’t have waited until this morning? This better be important.” Itachi warns (with no actual threat behind it) groggily as he follows behind his younger brother. It was dangerous business to wake the elder Uchiha up after he’d already fallen asleep, hence why Naruto stood shaking in the corner and Sasuke looked defeated despite nothing happening.

“I’m not some after-thought, Itachi. I deserve to be preserved in the moment.” Sage snapped quickly, forcing her presence to be known. Itachi meets her eyes quickly and considers her for a moment before crossing his arms across his chest.

“Is this a set-up?” Itachi counters hesitantly with a stone-face that Sage recognized as a defense mechanism. Maybe she came on too strong.

“No, Itachi, it isn’t. It’s just me.” Sage counters, finding her patience once again.

“Did Naruto and Sasuke ask you to come here?”

“No one asked me to come. I wanted to see you.”

There is a silence following Sage’s last statement and Itachi looks taken aback.

“I guess that’s our cue…” Naruto starts, the silence lasting a minute too long for anyone’s comfort. He’s sheepish as he drags Sasuke into his bedroom and the door clicks shut behind them. The only thing that’s left now is a confrontation that Sage wasn’t prepared for; one she didn’t think she would ever be prepared for.

“So…”

“So?”

Sage takes this next minute to get a proper look at Itachi. He’d gotten much taller since they’d last met, the stress lines etched deeper beneath his eyes. His hair was down and reached the small of his back and his hairline hadn’t yet begun receding. The sight of him was equally humbling as it was haunting.

“I didn’t really plan this far ahead.” Sage admits meekly, scratching the back of her head while she avoided any and all eye contact.

“I can tell.”

“Yeah, well. Don’t get a big head over it; you’re still just Itachi Uchiha.”

“Did you come here just to tell me that?”

“No.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I miss you.”  
And there it is; the truth Sage had so desperately tried to keep hidden out of protection for herself. Itachi can tell that Sage had been putting herself through hell since his arrival, but was too proud to admit it. Itachi _knows_ that Sage is at her breaking point if she came all this way in the middle of the night, looking disheveled and slightly inebriated.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

At his words, Sage _quite literally_ threw herself into his arms and buried her face into the crook of his neck. Itachi caught her as if he’d been expecting the attack without his Sharingan, holding her impossibly tight to his slightly taller frame. He pretended not to notice the wetness he felt against his neck as he rubbed up and down her back. They stood that way for a few minutes, allowing their embrace to speak the apologies and words they haven’t gotten around to saying yet.

Sage eventually found the willpower to pull herself away from Itachi, but only because she was sure she was suffocating him. Itachi looked down at her with a glimmer in his eyes and the smallest smile on his lips.

“Can I make you some tea?” Itachi asked, his voice much smaller and kinder than it was when Sage had first arrived. He pulled a strand of hair out of her face and placed it behind her ear, letting his fingertips sit against the skin for a moment before she nodded her response.

Sage then moved into the living room and sat down on the couch, twirling long strands of brown hair between her fingers to keep busy as Itachi rummaged around the kitchen.

Itachi joined her a few minutes later with two mugs in his hand and took his spot next to her. They didn’t need words to enjoy their moment together; they could talk logistics another time.

“You look tired. Would you like to stay here tonight?” Itachi offers with no judgment, and Sage looks at him with adoration. She’s hesitant in her response but grabs a blanket hanging off the edge of the couch nonetheless, swinging the ends around her shoulders to cocoon herself.

“Thank you, Itachi.” Is the only thing Sage can find herself to say before she lays down, resting her head on Itachi’s lap. His hand automatically threads itself into the wild curls laying on his lap, gently scratching her scalp as he used to.

Soft and tender; the way she remembers it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was SO MUCH i wanted to add to this fic but i needed to keep this one short & sweet so i didn't overwhelm myself.  
> i am considering writing more for this so let me know if that's something you'd be interested in!  
> thank you for reading this -- it's my first (completed) fic and i'm pretty stoked about it. :')

**Author's Note:**

> no beta so all mistakes are mine.  
> constructive criticism always welcome!


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